I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
