chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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