Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
