Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
birth control should be required to get into college
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
