She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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