Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize