you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She swung at the pinata with crutches
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
