I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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