Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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