we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
