I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
