a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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