I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize