im six kinds of drunk right now
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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