Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
