k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
