You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
