Just fell off a train. Bad.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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