yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we're making bets on your personal life
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
