are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
