i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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