i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
