i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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