TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
