Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
