I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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