Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
