I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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