i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
