This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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