They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
