So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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