We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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