last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
