Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I've blown a few things in my day
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
two words...techno handjob
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize