I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we're so committed to being not committed
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
