you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
