You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
