Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you would pick up someone in the library
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
