please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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