The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
