Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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