Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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