They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
