If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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