grandma shit on top of the toilet
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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