he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize