I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
