they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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