But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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