she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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