i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
