dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
