My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
