If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
