Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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