i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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