I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Even my vagina gasped.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
