clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
