Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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