take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
