obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
