we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
