i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
