Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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