How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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