There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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