You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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