he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
