Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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