Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
