I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
