I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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