There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize