soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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