if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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