my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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