I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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