Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just invented taco cereal.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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