He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
